I received an email at about 2 PM yesterday about leftie! They wanted me to continue swabbing leftie with the betadine swabs twice a day and cushioning her with a fresh ABD pad twice a day. Basically it’s exactly what Barry suggested that I do when he first noticed the weirdness going on with leftie. I’m relieved and still a little nervous. I mean it’s not as bad as it could be, and I’m not in pain. Yet I still worry which does me absolutely no good.
Currently waiting on my drain to stop having over 30 cc/ml of belly juice every day so I can get this pesky drain removed. Barry’s anxiously excited to do the removal, haha! And I think Emilia is excited to watch it happen. She’s been such an incredible little human to me. She’s taken over night time nursing duties. She’s swabbing my hip drain site, leftie and puts my DVT machine on my legs. It’s basically the cutest thing and she’s so proud of herself. She won’t do my belly button though, because she deems it too creepy.
I’m so grateful for the thoughts, prayers and good vibes being sent my way. I definitely feel like they’re working. Keep ’em coming. Leftie needs all the help she can get.
Y’all, leftie is up to no good again. I’m calling NoLa soon to see what they say. Dr. Barry thinks I need antibiotics 😩 so I’m sure that they’ll say the same thing. I’ve been waiting for that other shoe to drop. I suppose this is it. My bellybutton is also a little red around the edges. Gah. I’ve been so compliant with wound care, showers, etc so this feels like a major blow. I’m sitting on my bed, spontaneously crying, topless hoping that my infection gets dried out just a bit.
In other news I’m watching lots of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, drinking lots of water and trucking along. I’m trying to increase my step count by 500 a day. The bruising is going down and so is the swelling.
Focusing on the positive and these rays of sunshine that are taking such good care of me.
Today, I’m 8 days post op. I just took a shower by myself, and shaved my legs (and big toe). (Yes, I shave my big toes…am I alone?) I for sure have less energy than before surgery, my belly is tight AF and my boobs feel like bricks strapped to my chest. When I look in the mirror it doesn’t feel like a true reflection. It’s not a bad feeling when I look in the mirror. Just a curious one. Who’s boobs are those? That flat tummy and high almost outie belly button belong to who, exactly??
I honestly keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something bad to happen. My recovery has been nothing short of amazing. My stay at the center was incredible. My pain has been so well controlled. I haven’t taken a Norco since Sunday AM. My pain has been well controlled with Tylenol and the prescription anti inflammatory, Tordol. I expected this to be so much worse.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday in bed. I kept the littles home from school and forced them to spend time with me. They demolished an entire box of crackers in my bed, and attacked a family size bag of Swedish fish like a pack of starving hyenas in the plains of Africa. We took turns picking movies and shows to watch while I snoozed away the day. It was heavenly.
Today, I have to do something unpleasant and so typical #momlife that I can’t even handle it. I’ll fill you in when I know more because this Mama is flying blind with this thing. Maybe this is the shoe?? I dunno.
Today my phone alerted me that I’d selected today as a potential surgery date. WAY back in February when I was first starting my journey. I’m not far off. In just a few days I’ll be done with surgery and on the flap side. I’ll be recovering and will have reduced my risk of breast cancer to a MUCH smaller number. It’s kind of surreal that it’s already September 7th and surgery is looming. I’m really not nervous for the actual cutting. I’m nervous for the after. The healing and pain. I’m worried about my kids and how they’re going to deal with me being gone that long. (Spoiler alert, they’ll be fine and I’ll have worried for naught.)
I’ve got my suitcase half packed, and I think I have everything I need in a pile. I’m worried I’m not bring enough stuff and also worried I’m bringing too much stuff. I’m marking off the last of my to-dos before surgery, collecting my thoughts and my goodies. I think I’m ready. I think.
Emilia told me today, on the way to school, that I could bring Howard with me. If you don’t know, Howard is a bunny that she’s had since she was about 1. She (Howard is a girl’s name) is ratty, and well loved. I almost broke down crying in the car at her generosity. Howard is HER buddy. The one she sleeps with every night. Every. Night. And yet, she’s willing to share her comfort buddy with me so that I’m comfortable.
I’m really just overwhelmed at the support and love I’m receiving. I know this is a weird thing to be doing. I, myself, thought Angelina was a bit loco for cutting off her boobs to prevent something that might happen. And then I found out I was BRCA1+ and suddenly I understood. This is something concrete that I can do to reduce my risk. Along with the other things, healthy eating, exercise, not smoking, etc. Wednesday night, my coworkers surprised me with a card, some boob/coconut/disco ball cups and a huge bag of gummi bears. I definitely cried reading the card and all of the encouraging messages inside. I also definitely had gummi bears for breakfast and lunch yesterday. Yesterday was my ta-ta to the tatas party with my sweet friends. So grateful to be surrounded by people that love and care about not only me but my babies. I know they’ll be loved while I’m gone and I’m so grateful.