Posted on Leave a comment

When life gives you legos

Raise your hand if stepping on an errant LEGO has caused you to curse!

The past few days I’ve felt like a lego. All sharp edges and hardness. I haven’t felt like the mother and human I strive to be. Maybe it’s the full moon. Maybe it’s mercury being in retrograde. Maybe we’ve reached the point in summer that we all tired of each other and need to spend some time apart. All I know is that I’ve not been happy, the kids haven’t been happy, and we’ve all spent too much time on technology.

Tuesday was my breaking point. I just wanted to cry as hardness oozed out of me. My words were sharp and unkind. My patience was non existent. I was driving the struggle bus at breakneck speed. I decided to take the kids out of the house and didn’t care really what we did. We just needed sunshine and out of the house and away from technology.

Wednesday morning, we all got dressed and headed to pcb. On the to do list was visit the library, keep kids away from technology and find something to do. We ended up at target for a few essentials. We were planning on checking out Frank Brown Park for the very first time. Target was a time suck, an air conditioned, well stocked, time suck. We got sunscreen, hi sunbum, snacks and drinks, my flamingo replacement blades. Gabriel got a book. It’s a mid summer miracle because he chose it. Some more snacks and treats. In target e lost her mind a couple times. The gimmes got her.

But somehow, I was able to find my patience. I got down on her level and explained why we weren’t getting x, y, z. She listened and understood. We honestly walked out with not much more than we walked in for and that is another mid summer miracle. Please, please please know that I am not saying I handled the scenarios perfectly. I know I probably messed something up. But I was finding my softness again.

We had lunch with Barry. The kids gobbled up Culver’s, and then we went to old navy to get a kickstart on school clothes shopping. ALL of Julian’s shirts and uniform shorts are too small. Lucky for him, he has a marginally smaller brother that can still wear that size. And landsend had a great sale with free logos so I ordered 7 shirts and 2 hoodies for around $100.

We came home, rested for 30 mins. I think that’s the key. Mandatory quiet time. No tech. Just chill. And then went to the pool. All four swam. They hardly fought.

Today, we were able to scratch splash pad from our summer bucket list. Frank Brown Park/PCB Aquatic Center is awesome. The kids all passed the swim test for all access.

Summer is waning. It’s unreal how quickly it passes. I’m trying to be present. To soak them up. To know and recognize that they’re as small as they’ll ever be. To take notice of the peach fuzz that’s on Julian’s upper lip, and recognize that for now, he still likes me. He thinks I’m funny still and not a complete embarrassment. He’s a great helper.

Motherhood is hard but I have to learn to embrace the hard without letting it change me. I want to be their soft place to land. I want to ALWAYS be that. I needed to pause and remember that.

Posted on Leave a comment


We are steadily knocking things off of our bucket list. One MAJOR thing that’s been on our summer lists since we first moved to Florida 4 years ago is the Fourth of July parade. We are lucky enough to ride on the Gigi’s float and it’s just the most small town fun experience. I specifically remember seeing the parade our first 4th here and the kids saying that they wanted to be in the parade the next year. We met Geri around Memorial Day the following year, and were invited to play in the parade. Dream come true. This year was no different. Barry even drove his Jeep, Betty, in the parade as the first ever Stellar float! He’s got big plans to make his Jeep more America next year.

We basically had the best day. I will say, if you’re reading this and considering throwing water balloons at a float full of small children that are dancing, DO NOT DO IT. Also, if you’re considering throwing a water balloon at a grown ass woman in white short’s ass, you’re a dick. That was the only negative thing I can say about this parade. The kids were screaming and crying. It was not great.
We then got to hang out right at the beach for the Fourth. Our ‘hood gang got spots right on the beach and it was just the best. I didn’t take many pictures, but it was such a good chill day. We went back down to the beach for fireworks after dinner and got to see them in Seaside, PCB and Destin. We then had to walk back to our car which was parked in front of AJ’s and that was slightly nerve-wracking because of the mass exit on the beach. Next year we probably won’t go back to the beach for fireworks but would definitely do the day part again.

Tuesday morning, we spent the morning and afternoon at the new elementary school for a photo shoot that the littles were invited to. It’s going to be beautiful but that day marked exactly one month until meet the teacher in August. I’m not ok! How is summer almost over already. We have another set of visitors coming on the 28th and I am so excited for them. School starts on 8/12 here, when do you start??

Posted on Leave a comment


Today, I went to the most glorious yoga class. It was hard. And hot. And I felt the weakness still somewhat present in my left hip. She said some things that made me grateful and aware of the potential still left in this year. She said that today is the first day of the last half of the year. Today I was successful at moving my body. At sweating (ok maybe profusely is more apt to describe that sweat). Now to keep up that forward progress.

My point is less painful and for that I am grateful. Wearing pants sucked for a while. I go to New Orleans next Monday. We will drive over pretty early in the morning and eat and then go to my appointment. I’m excited for beignets and Cajun Bloody marys. And cochon and tacos and beer (and yes we will probably eat at all of those places in the short time we are there). I feel areas of hardness that feel kind of like smallish rocks beneath the scar line. I feel more and more sure it’s scar tissue but I’m not sure how they can fix it.

It’s a little surreal that it’s 4th of July week. It seems less busy, or maybe I’m misremembering. I am so grateful to be here. I shared the story of how we ended up here in the emerald coast last night, and every time I do I am reminded at how little we had to do with it. How seamlessly our lives transitioned here. How things lined up perfectly for us to move here. I am forever grateful to my tribe. For helping us plant roots, make this area our home instead of just a place we live.