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When science backs your gut

You guys! I don’t have to have surgery to fix my point!! Let me repeat: I. Do. Not. Need. Surgery. I guess I didn’t realize how heavy that prospect was weighing on me until I knew the prospect was fully off the table.

Today, I met with a physical therapist. I’ve never done physical therapy. Not after I sprained my ankle when I was 16. Not after I broke the same ankle a few years later. And not when I broke that same ankle another few years later. I haven’t stepped foot into a physical therapists office ever.

Turns out, I probably should have 😂 so, he said it’s definitely NOT diastasis recti. My core isn’t TOO weak. I mean there’s always room for improvement but it wasn’t the worst. My left hip, however, is a mess. He said it’s roughly 30-40% weaker than my right. He videoed me running (in slow motion, 🤮) and you can see how I do this weird adjustment on my left foot. You can see how much jigglier my left booty cheek is. It’s hella evident, y’all. It also explains how I fell! Of course it becomes more pronounced after a few miles and when I’m getting tired. Duh. Told you I wasn’t looking at my phone 😂😂

So I have a prescription of a few hip/glute strengthening exercises. I have PT 2 times a week for 3 weeks. I’m instructed to build up my core strength again and to strengthen my hip. I am not, however, supposed to run. Maybe that’s why my passion has been zapped. It’s dangerous right now. I mean dangerous in the way that it could have injured me further.

Turns out the point is probably just scar tissue. Jana, you were right. Fascia blaster here I come.

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Finding my passion

Once upon a time, not that long ago, I loved to run. I ran every. single. day. I looked forward to lacing up my shoes, strapping on a couple of sports bras and going. In some pants I could see the muscles of my legs flex and stretch with every step I took. I. Loved. It. I was never fast. But my endurance was great. I would run, voluntarily, on the treadmill. I watched hours and hours of television shows while running my ass off (quite literally I’m afraid).

We moved to Florida, I sold my treadmill and kept running. I trained for a half marathon and hated it. The race itself. The training wasn’t the problem. It was a Disney Princess half and I had worked so hard and couldn’t even run with all the princesses in front of me. I had a PR though. A time to beat. Surely the seaside half the following week would be better. And it was, kinda. Except my knee hurt from the weird angles of 30-A. I don’t typically have knee pain while running so I definitely felt as though I had to baby it. Still! I beat my race time! Go me.

And then I kinda stopped running. I told myself it was just resting from back to back half marathons. Thanksgiving came around and I signed up for the 10k. Finally a sweet spot race distance. Love a 10K.

Then, BRCA1 happened. And surgery. And a busted ass knee. And then surgery again. I want to find something I love again. Maybe it’s running (not half marathons). Maybe it’s yoga. Or Pilates. Or barre.

I’ve been working more, and kids are about to be done with school. It’s time, right now, (ok maybe not at 12:09 am) to carve out this time for me. It is a great transitional time since everything is changing. (Holler for no 6 AM have to wake up calls after next Wednesday!!)

How do I retrain my mind to love running again. Do I need rewards? Like if I run 5 days a week I get something specific and dope? I really miss the solitude and solace I found when running. Surprisingly I can’t listen to music while running. The tempo changes stress me out to much and impact my pace in weird ways. I can’t find my stride, though currently my stride is a brisk walk soooooooo.

What are some rewards or mini goals that I should have? I think just carving out the 30-45 mins it’ll take for me to run/walk a couple miles is the challenge for me right now. I guess just figuring out what the challenge is, what is holding me back from even attempting to run is helpful. Knowing that I need to make the opportunity happen while my kids are home is helpful. Identifying the potential hindrance points is beneficial as well.

Thanksgiving is coming and there’s another 10K. On my way to print off my 10K training plan. I mean, probably I should learn again how to run a complete mile, yeah? Gotta start somewhere.

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Onward and upward

You guys! Owen is going into THIRD grade. I remember that being the hardest grade so far. I remember doing a science experiment in front of the whole class. I had to show the different phases of the moon with a baseball and a flashlight. Even then I was a nerd for the moon. It blows my mind that my tiny little angel face is starting that grade! He is so smart and sweet. I just love this creative soul. He won a citizenship award, I’m telling ya, he’s sweet.

I am so incredibly lucky that he’s my babe. I’m honored that he chose me. Owen Barry, little BoBo, Bo, I love you and am loving seeing you grow and evolve.

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Kindergarten Grad & Summer Bucket List

Today, my newborn had her kindergarten celebration! I won’t say graduation because there was no pomp and cirumstance. No mortarboard with tassel. No gown. They sang songs, had a cute little program based on the alphabet, and did a dance to a mariachi song. Altogether an enjoyable morning.

So while there was none of the hullabaloo of a kindergarten graduation, there was an insanely thoughtful scrapbook created by Emilia’s kindergarten teacher. Every big event at school, every party I wasn’t at due to surgery or infection, or recovery is documented. The progress she’s made with handwriting, and spelling, and reading. It’s all there. I’m so grateful for the INCREDIBLE teachers we’ve had at Bay. It’s going to be so weird starting at the new school next year. I’m so glad some of our favorites are going to be going to the new school but it’s hard to say goodbye to the quaint old school we currently attend.

My kids are chomping at the bit to get our 2019 Summer Bucket List. 2018 was so much fun. For a refresher, here is our 2018 bucket list. Some things we are considering for this summer include: pontoon boat with grammy & pop pop, Shipwreck Island (again), Palizzi Art Camp, try a new restaurant. Can you give any suggestions for our 2019 bucket list?? I am having a hard time believing that it’s almost here! Only 6 days of school left!

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Happy Half Birthday

Do you celebrate your half birthday?? I never used to. Before I had two November babes I don’t even know if I knew when my half birthday was. (May 18, by the way.) once they were here the 6 month milestone, their half birthdays became a day of celebration. They were turning from the snuggly blobs to the humans we know them as now. It’s funny to see their 6 month pics and see how much personality is still present.

Yesterday was my half birthday. I’m 35.5. I’m officially closer to 36. It seems like such a big difference. 36 is late 30s. Y’all what am I going to do when I’m in my 40s. 40 something mumbles?? I don’t know. But to celebrate my half birthday I did a little run/walk (mostly walk) combo and a spicy yoga class. I feel very good about my choices and yet feel like this past six months has flown by. How has it been six months since my newborn turned 6. And owen turned 8. What exactly have *I* accomplished in these six months. The answer is not a ton aside from healing from phase 2. But that’s something, right?? I’ve made some amazing friends. Connected with the Florida breasties. Deepened my roots here in SoWal. My home is more my home. Emilia’s room redo. Cruises to the Bahamas. Continued to love my job (like looooove my job). I guess it’s not so much that’s exceptional or out of the ordinary but the small and simple things allow time to pass. it’s the daily todo lists, the weekly chores and the loads of endless laundry. It’s the school lunches, (yay only 7 more to make) and bus stop hangs. It’s signup genius and remind alerts. Those are the ways to mark the time. Those are the ways my days pass. That’s what I’ve accomplished and by 36 I will be running and practicing yoga regularly again. I will be taking that time as mine. It’s not selfish. It’s healthy.

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Wishlist Wednesday

I’m trying so hard to stop this consumer driven mentality. I want to be a responsible consumer. I want to buy quality over quantity. It’s honestly one of the reasons no-buy-may was developed, at least in part. It’s so easy to go to Target or Walmart and just buy something because it’s cute and trendy and affordable. I also have trouble spending money on trendy things. Especially if I’m lucky to get one season out of them. I’m finding the balance between needing quality in staple pieces and yet wanting to be somewhat in fashion at the same time. I said in my white jeans post that Madewell is my go to for jeans. I’m not saying I’ll never branch out but for now they’re decently affordable, long enough and tend to make my butt look good, okkkkkk.
This no-buy-May has been successful so far. I am 1/2 way done. I did get a big water cup at Stellar the other day but anything to help me drink 100 oz of water a day is a NEED in my book. (Side I love it because it looks like a hospital cup, and I drank SO much water when I was just discharged from NoLa!) I’ve definitely purchased some plants for landscaping outside but nothing wild and unnecessary. Our landscaping is looking gooooood already and thanks to Mariah, we have a really good game plan. I work the next 3 days in a row so I don’t foresee much progress on the yard in the next coming while but Monday? The yard is my focus!

So, wishlist wednesday. While I’m forever a fan of alliteration all I’ve done so far is talk about my not buying. That’s where the wishlist comes in. And just because I love alliteration, it’s getting posted on a Wednesday. Wishlists things are just items that caught my eye for whatever reason. Things I might buy. Things I might not buy. Who knows. Just things I’m wanting to check out again at a later date.

I want/need a planner. I’m trying to not impulsively purchase something. I want it to be perfect. I’m researching the heck out of Erin Condren, Plum Paper and a passion planner! I have had happy planners the past two times, it’s fine but I just want to know if it’s the best thing out there, ya know?


We don’t have all the tools necessary to prepare drinks. This would be a handy tool, am i right?

These flip flops are dupes of some that cost like $300. I love the black and also the nude color.

This dress is so cute. So many fun colors and just seems like an easy breezy thing to throw over my swimsuit on my way to the pool or beach.

obsessed with these sunglasses! So cute. I still want the raybans that Kieran has but until I can ball that hard…these will have to do.

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Goal Setting

I’m reading/listening to Rachel Hollis’ Girl Stop Apologizing. (side note-audible is seriously incredible. I listen to books after I drop my kids off and I feel so much more productive. There are definitely days where music is the deal of the day but I like listening to books a lot.) She is a force. An incredibly inspiring human and yet, I digress.

It should come to no great surprise that I am not the best example at follow through. I mean, generally, I talk a big game but rarely execute my goals as flawlessly as I would like to admit. Rachel Hollis has a really cool goal setting tool called 10-10-1. Catchy, right? I still need to sit down and figure mine out but she also challenges her readers to do some small and simple things to start changing our mindset into one of a goal getter. She wants us to get up an hour earlier, drink half our body weight in ounces of water, move my body for 30 minutes a day and this one that I’m taking on this month. To eliminate one category of food for 30 days. I decided on gluten. I have a theory that it might be the cause of some of my bloating, maybe not the whole pointy belly scenario, but some of the pointy belly scenario. So I’m going to try it. I can do it! 30 days isn’t that long and thank god there are so many gluten free options out there. Plus, corn tortillas don’t have gluten anyway.

Do you have any gluten free recipes that I need to try this 30 days? Today is day 1 and so far I’m killing it.

Someday, I’ll get the rest of my goals figured out and shared with you. For now, this small and simple thing is pretty much all I can accomplish.

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Mama needs landscaping help

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mama friends, and I do mean ALL my mama friends. (I’m talking to you cat mama, dog mama, lizard mama, any form of life mama.) It’s no secret that I’m a self proclaimed crazy plant lady. I name them all, and take great pride in the fact that Hank, my fiddle leaf fig, is still kicking. My yard though. Yikes. It needs some serious help and direction. In Kansas City I had lilies, peony, and all of my favorites. Here? It’s a wasteland of pine straw scraps, shrubs planted by the builders, and my blooming glory, the jasmine that’s now overtaking the railing on my front porch. In the back of my house I have a couple lemon trees, a very miniature orange tree, fig tree that’s go so many leaves this spring and a magnolia tree that a neighbor gave me.

For Mother’s Day I wanted nothing more than to wander down every aisle of the Lowe’s garden center buying anything that caught my eye. They had so many amazing things to choose from!

We ended up with a modest haul including a few bags of top soil to help cope with our sandy soil. Bulbs were on clearance for 1/2 off! So I kind of went a little overboard with dahlia bulbs, elephant ears, and ranunculus. If I can’t have a peony I’ll have the next best thing.

So for the plan part. We are thinking dark mulch instead of pinestraw. The number of effing spiders the size of my hand I found today was reason enough for us to go that route. I know I was trespassing on their turf but seriously, stop jumping out and scaring the literal piss out of me, ok? We have some landscaping edging on the way from Amazon. We will create definite borders between the lawn and the decorative parts. And the decorative parts will get better, surely???

So to all my landscape inclined friends, help. I don’t want it to look like a jank house. All I want for Mother’s Day is a pretty yard, or at least a yard that looks like a crazy plant lady lives there.

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Results are in…

…and it’s inconclusive. But there are some things we can rule out. It’s NOT a hernia. It’s also NOT a seroma or hematoma 🎉🎉

So we know some things that it’s definitely not. I have a few things it might be. It could be diastasis recti. The stitch they used to fix me up during phase 1 could have popped. It also could be edema. So I have some things that I can do to hopefully fix it. Sandy gave me some exercises to do to help if it’s diastasis recti. I also have a strong desire to start running again and practicing yoga again which will all help, I think. Gotta build up the core again. I am also going to keep on wearing compression to see if that helps. Drinking a lot of water, and walking all the steps.

So about the cyst the tech talked about…it isn’t a concern. I’m so relieved. It isn’t cancer. Thank god. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers and good vibes. I felt so comforted by them. I felt so much better when I woke up.

My friend Mariah brought me peonies which are my fave. I just feel so so so blessed and supported. Thank you!!

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Things I want to buy

So, despite my rambling, I still stress shopped. I added a bunch of things to my Amazon cart during that stint in the waiting room and while sitting at my counter stressing. Here’s what I want to buy right now to combat that stress. Some of these items are necessary and will be purchased, eventually. haha!

  1. Baebody castor oil What I like about this? It’s supposed to help your lashes grow. And maybe your eyebrows too?
  2. Laptop Bag. So I’m planning on writing a lot more. So like I might need to take my computer bag with me, right?
  3. Tiles for the backsplash in my laundry room. It’s part of the one room challenge that was supposed to be done today. Ooops. I’ve done NOTHING.
  4. These sunglasses for Emilia. Like, hi she needs them.
  5. Natural Calm I mean, TMI but this is a need. And this one helps me sleep.

So far, the tiles are a necessary purchase for this project but the rest of them I am still thinking of them. What do you think??