Posted on 3 Comments

Halloween vs. Christmas

I feel like the world is divided into two categories, those that LOVE Halloween and those that LOVE Christmas. Of course there will be some overlap. Some people are equally passionate, or not, about the holidays but there are people that start listening to Christmas music in July, y’all.  JULY. It’s still boiling hot in most parts of the US. Santa is still on his much needed holiday and those elves? Well they haven’t even begun working on the hot toy for this year’s Christmas. Some people even go so far as to put their tree up before Thanksgiving and it’s just fine.

I myself live on the darkside.

img_5436

The Addams family home is my dream house. Seriously, some girls want a Barbie dream house? Nope, give me that haunted one. Black is not only my favorite color, it’s the color of my soul, 97% of my wardrobe, and the way I like my coffee. It’s also my nail polish color 10 months of the year.

Last year, like any Halloween lover, we decorated at the beginning of September. Obviously, no fresh pumpkins because while I love zombies and creepy things like that, a rotting pumpkin isn’t my jam. It was also before my surgery, and y’all I was healthy. We had the house perfectly spooky and then, like all psychos, Michael came in October. I wasn’t so healthy then but Barry was activated to help with Michael and Julian, Gabriel and I had to undecorate in a hurry. I couldn’t lift ANYTHING. Those boys worked their buns off with a frazzled mama trying to do everything to evacuate. Bless them. I’m so grateful for my health and mobility this year but Michael has me still a little gun shy.

It’s currently September 26 and I have only decorated our mantle. I mean, it’s pretty cute but it’s certainly not Christia Palizzi, Halloween Lover, Buffy Obsessed, level decor. At what point is it safe to put the stuff out? I have definitely been diffusing Capri Blue Pumpkin Clove oil for the whole month, so it’s like sorta festive. (Side note, the volcano oil is SO good. I’ve been diffusing it upstairs during the day.) I think this weekend we will pull out the black and orange bins and get our spook on. Next year, however, hurricane season be damned. I’m decorating as soon as September starts.

So, tell me, are you an Addams or a Claus??

Advertisements
Posted on Leave a comment

Progress

Today I started listing some clothes on Poshmark. I have so many things that I’m not wearing, or that don’t fit, or just aren’t ME anymore. Also, who is ME March 11, 2019? That’s a hella good question! I can tell you physical descriptors-platinum bob, green eyes, size 9 shoe, size 29 pant. I could tell you how much I weigh but none of those things define me.

In listing these clothes I came across a photo from almost exactly 3 years ago and I truly and honestly barely recognized myself.

The craziest part is while I’m about 30 lbs lighter in this picture, I remember the same uncomfortableness that I have now. That there were parts that still needed to shrink to fit into this mold. I’m glad there are so many body positivity movements right now, that this topic is being talked about instead of ignored and swept under the rug. (Or carpet as Kyle from RHoBH would say.)

I’m learning to love and appreciate the new body I’ve been given…I gotta admit my new belly button is CUTE. I’m also trying to get into the strong mindset. To get back to the girl that worked out because she *liked* it not just because she wanted a calorie deficit. The one that could just run 6-8 miles and be cool. I don’t think I have the desire to run a half marathon ever again but a 10K would be cool.

Believe That i know that my body has been through some SHiT the past 365 days. My mental state as well. And I’m not mad at myself for gaining weight nor will I be punishing myself. I’m going to continue the #LowCarbLife That I’ve been doing for the past week, and slowly start exercising again. I guess I should put to use that treadmill and elliptical in the garage, eh??

Posted on 3 Comments

Image

Almost six months ago I had my mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction. Directly after surgery I felt invincible, strong. Like a badass warrior with a flat tummy. Our family celebrated being done with surgery with a cruise to the Bahamas. It was our kids’ main Christmas present. This meant the first time donning a swimsuit since before my surgeries.

Initially, I wasn’t worried a bit. I mean I had just had my surgeries and my tummy was so flat. I should feel rocking in my bikini. My boobs are pretty perfect, especially after having four kids, and being in my *gasp* late 30s. Shopping for them was fun! I found a killer deal at Walmart of all places on a super on trend bikini and felt pretty good in it. Until it was actually time to wear it.

The familiar self doubt and self loathing creeped in. Ugh the bottoms cut into my hip. My thighs are so wiggly. I internally celebrated every other woman in her swimsuit for enjoying her vacay, or seeming to give no Fs about anything but that pineapple drank.

It’s funny how it’s never enough. My brain is wired to think I’m not good enough. I worried that people were thinking that I had just had a tummy tuck and were judging me that way. Who cares if they were, right? I enjoyed the trip with my little (big) family immensely. Seeing the joy on their faces as we fed pigs on Treasure Island, and discovering Moana shells while snorkeling are precious memories that I’ve stored away.

How can I rewire my brain to love my body? To not look at the flaws as bright flashing neon lights saying I’m not enough? How can I teach emilia to give no Fs and enjoy herself?

Posted on 5 Comments

ISO: caregiver

I think I told you before that I’ll be in New Orleans for like 9 days. It’s broken up into nice easy segments.

Night 1: Pre-Op. I’ll have a CT scan of my abdomen to ensure sufficient blood supply to my belly fat along with a slew of other tests. I’ll have to fast at midnight until after surgery. But you better believe I’m eating something delicious that Monday for dinner 😂

Nights 2-4: Surgery and Recovery. I’ll be holed up in the most beautiful hospital I’ve ever encountered. Y’all, it didn’t even smell like a hospital. And they have a chef who’ll prepare my meals. It’s not hospital food, either. It’s Louisiana food.

Nights 5-9: Hotel Stay & One Week Post Op Appt So when I leave The Center I will have 4 drains. 2 breast drains and 2 abdominal drains. At my one week post op appointment they’ll make sure things are healing properly and remove one set of drains. From what I hear it’s an incredibly freeing experience. Probably like taking out your new Invisalign tray AND taking off your too small bra with an exposed underwire multiplied by 1,000. Then I get to come home.

Y’all know, or don’t? My husband is a family practice physician. He is really good at what he does. And obviously is willing to spend the entire 9 days with me in New Orleans fetching my every culinary whim, assisting me with bodily functions, showering etc. The only thing holding us back from that plan is this:

Or should I say, these. We don’t want it to be super hard on them. I’m not sure if I want them to see me so close to surgery. They’re extremely affectionate children and love them some Mama snuggles and Mama just won’t be able to snuggle.

We are in discussion right now to figure out when B will stay and when some lucky friend of mine will get to stay. Do you think having him directly after surgery is best? Or will his expertise be better served when there aren’t highly skilled nurses and physicians mulling about?

Helpppp. I know I have about 5 months to figure this out but patience isn’t my strength and I just want your opinions. Would you prefer to have your spouse with you before and directly after surgery or when you’re discharged but not yet Home?

Posted on Leave a comment

Is HE the problem?

Remember how I’ve been lusting over metal beds? Yeah, I know. I posted just yesterday about them. There is still a war waging between Piper and Mason with no clear winner.
Barry votes Mason. I…am undecided. Today I was making my bed, and saw the steer head sculpture that’s lived over our bed for two years now. He was originally silver but I lovingly painted him black. I loved him. He was so edgy for my kind of preppy bed. But now I’m wondering if he’s part of the problem. (The other problem being my bed is such a cool/neutral grey that it has a green tone when compared with my beautiful flooring.)

So, is it him? It’s totally him and not me, right? He’s cool but is it limiting my decorating style? Is he a little too country for my wanna be edgy room?IMG_5258

Can you tell the bed looks like it has a slightly green tone? Also, how gorgeous are these floors? Pergo Outlast in Hawaiian Curly Koa. ALL the heart eyes. All of them. I’m going to need a bigger rug to anchor the one that I’ve been hoarding for actual years! I found it on clearance at Target for $38 and knew it was meant to be in my bedroom when I replaced the floors.

IMG_5261

 

Here is the rug and a picture of my mess haha! They were all playing ipods before we went to Zumba this morning. I’m thinking a solid black, maybe fluffy faux fur for texture? Thoughts? Y/N?IMG_5269

And my big 4th grader! I can’t believe he’s going into 4th grade and I also can’t believe he posed for me to take this picture! IMG_5263