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It’s the end of the world as we know it

I mean, summer vacation is ending so, so, so soon, guys. We are trying to squeeze the last drops of summer fun before the dance classes, cross country practices, meets and more, homework, drop off/pick up routines begin. It’s going to be wild. Add to this major adjustment known as back to school, B’s annual training. So, yay me for floundering my way through week one solo! 🏆

We’ve had a summer bucket list for the past couple years and it’s been such a fun way to beat the routine.

This week we were able to cross Palizzi Art Camp off of the 2019 summer bucket list. I wanted each kiddo to find a project and figure out what tools we would need and instruct everyone on how to complete said project. It mostly worked out.

Owen chose Spider-Man candy apples for his project.
Gabe wanted to do sharpie mugs for hot cocoa. (It’s like 95°)

E wanted make tiny piggy planters from upcycled soda bottles. We had to get some supplies

Julian couldn’t choose a project but ended up facilitating a figurine making class from air dry clay, that somehow morphed into making pencil toppers using the cute pencils I got at Michael’s. They molded the clay and colored with markers or paint. My kitchen is an absolute disaster but they got it done!!

This Friday we meet the teachers and Sunday we will be tucking ourselves into bed hoping and praying for a good school year. I can’t believe how quickly the summer flew by but that’s what they say, time flies when you’re having fun. And oh boy, did we ever. (Until the beginning of this week anyway ;))

When do your babes start back to school? Do you pick out their first day outfits? Or leave it up to them? Are you a school supply addict like me?? Or is it a least loved chore?? Sound off in the comments!

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meet me at the crossroads

If this wasn’t the first thing you thought of when you read this title, are we even friends?
Y’all, I’m a for real crossroads. Almost 4 years ago I joined LuLaRoe. I loved it at first. It was exactly what I needed at the time, but stuff happened, things changed within the company, policies changed and I fell behind. It’s definitely not the market it once was, and that’s not necessarily bad, I just don’t know if it’s for me anymore.
What are some ways that you use to figure out what’s the best thing to do. Is it an actual pro/con list? Think about what it would be like if said opportunity wasn’t in your life? At this point, I think the negatives are far outweighing the positives for staying in LuLaRoe, but I just don’t know. I need to move some inventory, that’s a fact.
Join my group for slammin’ deals
Regardless of whether I continue my journey with LLR or not, this room must become a bedroom again. I no longer have the luxury of this being a wasted space. Juju needs a mancave (without a TV).
I just don’t know what to do. The whole culture of LLR has changed. The products I know and am familiar with no longer exist. I feel like if I start again it’s like brand new. Again, that’s not bad, it’s not good. It just is. Help me adult you guys!

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When life gives you legos

Raise your hand if stepping on an errant LEGO has caused you to curse!

The past few days I’ve felt like a lego. All sharp edges and hardness. I haven’t felt like the mother and human I strive to be. Maybe it’s the full moon. Maybe it’s mercury being in retrograde. Maybe we’ve reached the point in summer that we all tired of each other and need to spend some time apart. All I know is that I’ve not been happy, the kids haven’t been happy, and we’ve all spent too much time on technology.

Tuesday was my breaking point. I just wanted to cry as hardness oozed out of me. My words were sharp and unkind. My patience was non existent. I was driving the struggle bus at breakneck speed. I decided to take the kids out of the house and didn’t care really what we did. We just needed sunshine and out of the house and away from technology.

Wednesday morning, we all got dressed and headed to pcb. On the to do list was visit the library, keep kids away from technology and find something to do. We ended up at target for a few essentials. We were planning on checking out Frank Brown Park for the very first time. Target was a time suck, an air conditioned, well stocked, time suck. We got sunscreen, hi sunbum, snacks and drinks, my flamingo replacement blades. Gabriel got a book. It’s a mid summer miracle because he chose it. Some more snacks and treats. In target e lost her mind a couple times. The gimmes got her.

But somehow, I was able to find my patience. I got down on her level and explained why we weren’t getting x, y, z. She listened and understood. We honestly walked out with not much more than we walked in for and that is another mid summer miracle. Please, please please know that I am not saying I handled the scenarios perfectly. I know I probably messed something up. But I was finding my softness again.

We had lunch with Barry. The kids gobbled up Culver’s, and then we went to old navy to get a kickstart on school clothes shopping. ALL of Julian’s shirts and uniform shorts are too small. Lucky for him, he has a marginally smaller brother that can still wear that size. And landsend had a great sale with free logos so I ordered 7 shirts and 2 hoodies for around $100.

We came home, rested for 30 mins. I think that’s the key. Mandatory quiet time. No tech. Just chill. And then went to the pool. All four swam. They hardly fought.

Today, we were able to scratch splash pad from our summer bucket list. Frank Brown Park/PCB Aquatic Center is awesome. The kids all passed the swim test for all access.

Summer is waning. It’s unreal how quickly it passes. I’m trying to be present. To soak them up. To know and recognize that they’re as small as they’ll ever be. To take notice of the peach fuzz that’s on Julian’s upper lip, and recognize that for now, he still likes me. He thinks I’m funny still and not a complete embarrassment. He’s a great helper.

Motherhood is hard but I have to learn to embrace the hard without letting it change me. I want to be their soft place to land. I want to ALWAYS be that. I needed to pause and remember that.

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We are steadily knocking things off of our bucket list. One MAJOR thing that’s been on our summer lists since we first moved to Florida 4 years ago is the Fourth of July parade. We are lucky enough to ride on the Gigi’s float and it’s just the most small town fun experience. I specifically remember seeing the parade our first 4th here and the kids saying that they wanted to be in the parade the next year. We met Geri around Memorial Day the following year, and were invited to play in the parade. Dream come true. This year was no different. Barry even drove his Jeep, Betty, in the parade as the first ever Stellar float! He’s got big plans to make his Jeep more America next year.

We basically had the best day. I will say, if you’re reading this and considering throwing water balloons at a float full of small children that are dancing, DO NOT DO IT. Also, if you’re considering throwing a water balloon at a grown ass woman in white short’s ass, you’re a dick. That was the only negative thing I can say about this parade. The kids were screaming and crying. It was not great.
We then got to hang out right at the beach for the Fourth. Our ‘hood gang got spots right on the beach and it was just the best. I didn’t take many pictures, but it was such a good chill day. We went back down to the beach for fireworks after dinner and got to see them in Seaside, PCB and Destin. We then had to walk back to our car which was parked in front of AJ’s and that was slightly nerve-wracking because of the mass exit on the beach. Next year we probably won’t go back to the beach for fireworks but would definitely do the day part again.

Tuesday morning, we spent the morning and afternoon at the new elementary school for a photo shoot that the littles were invited to. It’s going to be beautiful but that day marked exactly one month until meet the teacher in August. I’m not ok! How is summer almost over already. We have another set of visitors coming on the 28th and I am so excited for them. School starts on 8/12 here, when do you start??

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Today, I went to the most glorious yoga class. It was hard. And hot. And I felt the weakness still somewhat present in my left hip. She said some things that made me grateful and aware of the potential still left in this year. She said that today is the first day of the last half of the year. Today I was successful at moving my body. At sweating (ok maybe profusely is more apt to describe that sweat). Now to keep up that forward progress.

My point is less painful and for that I am grateful. Wearing pants sucked for a while. I go to New Orleans next Monday. We will drive over pretty early in the morning and eat and then go to my appointment. I’m excited for beignets and Cajun Bloody marys. And cochon and tacos and beer (and yes we will probably eat at all of those places in the short time we are there). I feel areas of hardness that feel kind of like smallish rocks beneath the scar line. I feel more and more sure it’s scar tissue but I’m not sure how they can fix it.

It’s a little surreal that it’s 4th of July week. It seems less busy, or maybe I’m misremembering. I am so grateful to be here. I shared the story of how we ended up here in the emerald coast last night, and every time I do I am reminded at how little we had to do with it. How seamlessly our lives transitioned here. How things lined up perfectly for us to move here. I am forever grateful to my tribe. For helping us plant roots, make this area our home instead of just a place we live.

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Growing up, I have the fondest memories of spending weeks with my aunt Jean in Moses Lake. That’s where all of my cousins live and there are a bunch of us that are the same age, or pretty close. We would spend days picking rocks, at the aquatic center, pretending to be way cooler than we really were. I’m so grateful that my parents were able to come here and visit and to bring my nephew, Preston. Moving far from family was a choice, a sacrifice. I don’t really REGRET it but I do miss family. I miss holidays, birthdays, random Tuesday night dinners. It’s been so nice to spend Father’s Day with the man that raised me. The one that came to all of my basketball games, helped me practice my layup, took care of my people while I had surgery. I haven’t spent Father’s Day with my dad in roughly 11 years so this was a special treat.

denim on denim yo

It’s been such an incredible week with our visitors. I’m so grateful for the memories made. For the fact that my parents took time out of their lives to come spend time in ours. I’m so glad that my kids will have these childhood memories of time with their grandparents and their cousin.

We have gone on a pontoon boat, spent time at the pool, ate really terrible tacos, ate really delicious tacos, had a seafood feast (lobster for my mama!), did a puzzle and grinded on some video games. The boys are so close in age it’s been fun to have another personality to bounce between my two.
What are some of your fondest childhood memories?

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Where I’m at.

Today is supposed to be my last physical therapy appointment. I have really been challenged in PT, really struggled and felt myself getting stronger. When I’m done with that I don’t know what I’m going to do to continue strengthening. I’ve said before I used to LOVE running. I think I need to just try it again, like plug into my audio book and go for a few miles. It used to be such a great escape for me and my brain was free to be creative. I swear plot bunnies hide in my runs. I’ve set some goals for 10 years from now and they are kind of wild. They’re the kind of dreams inspired by greatness, AKA rachel hollis. One such goal is to have written and published a novel. I’ve written one, submitted it to a publishing house, and was asked to revise and resubmit. And then we moved and blah blah blah, excuse excuse excuse, I never did that. If for nothing else, I should go for a run again to feed that part of my brain that is only activated then.

Summer vacation is kicking my actual booty. Between visitors that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having, adventures with my kids, new responsibilities at work, selling off my LuLaRoe (join my group and buy it for hella cheap!) and planning JuJu’s man-cave bedroom, I’ve been stagnant. I need to put myself first and realize and accept that it’s ok.

I have a dermatology appointment next week and I’m a bit nervous. I have had this spot on my nose for a few months. I don’t know exactly when it came, but I know it came after my facial. It won’t go away. It hasn’t changed but it does bleed if I bug it. I’m honestly terrified of skin cancer. I know I keep throwing the BRCA label around but it increases my risk of Melanoma. Like hi that shit is scary. So if this spot could either go away and or decide it’s a zit, that would be great.

Leaving you with a photo of the gulf from the condo that my parents are renting.

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Physical therapy update

You guyssss! I got to run yesterday in PT. I mean it was hella slow but I ran consistently for six whole minutes. Ok, writing that doesn’t seem as triumphant as it felt. Because, y’all, I felt triumphant AF. Laurence told me to remember with each step to lift my left foot all the way. It seems so obvious but when you do an extra jiggle with each step on your left side it’s not obvious. He also put KT tape on either side of the point and across the middle to help bring blood flow and reduce lactic acid in the area. Idk if it worked but I’m willing to try anything.

I have three more sessions of PT and then I think I’ll be released. Maybe. Hopefully. 🤞🏽

I will continue my exercises until I’m cleared and then maybe figure something else out. I do want to run again, like I really want to run the 30a 10k. Literally printing the hal higden program right now.

I’m so relieved that the point is just scar tissue. I mean, it’s not the cutest but it’s also not a hernia, seroma, ovarian cancer or anything else scary. I can deal with scar tissue.

I proudly wore my bikini every time we went to the beach last week, Point and all. Every body is a bikini body, y’all.

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My Summer Intentions

On the first day of summer vacation, one of my best friends asked me what my summer intentions were. To be honest, I definitely hadn’t even considered any intentions. I just wanted to have fun, mark things off our bucket list, and continue to enjoy my kids.

It’s a week into summer now and I realize that I need to be mindful this summer. After a seriously hellacious trip to the grocery store with all the kids, where I spent way more than I intended and lost my temper far more frequently than I wanted to I found my summer intentions.

Now, to be fair. They are B.A.S.I.C. but they are things that I need to focus on. They are things that will allow my children to have good days as well. They’re basic things that will help me be a kind human. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be kind and generous. So, here are my intentions for the summer. Do YOU have intentions this summer? If so, sound off down below.


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When science backs your gut

You guys! I don’t have to have surgery to fix my point!! Let me repeat: I. Do. Not. Need. Surgery. I guess I didn’t realize how heavy that prospect was weighing on me until I knew the prospect was fully off the table.

Today, I met with a physical therapist. I’ve never done physical therapy. Not after I sprained my ankle when I was 16. Not after I broke the same ankle a few years later. And not when I broke that same ankle another few years later. I haven’t stepped foot into a physical therapists office ever.

Turns out, I probably should have 😂 so, he said it’s definitely NOT diastasis recti. My core isn’t TOO weak. I mean there’s always room for improvement but it wasn’t the worst. My left hip, however, is a mess. He said it’s roughly 30-40% weaker than my right. He videoed me running (in slow motion, 🤮) and you can see how I do this weird adjustment on my left foot. You can see how much jigglier my left booty cheek is. It’s hella evident, y’all. It also explains how I fell! Of course it becomes more pronounced after a few miles and when I’m getting tired. Duh. Told you I wasn’t looking at my phone 😂😂

So I have a prescription of a few hip/glute strengthening exercises. I have PT 2 times a week for 3 weeks. I’m instructed to build up my core strength again and to strengthen my hip. I am not, however, supposed to run. Maybe that’s why my passion has been zapped. It’s dangerous right now. I mean dangerous in the way that it could have injured me further.

Turns out the point is probably just scar tissue. Jana, you were right. Fascia blaster here I come.