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Here’s How I’m Bringing Fitness Back

Hi guys, it’s me, Christia. The one that used to run half marathons, attend zumba class 5 days a week, fit into her jeans. Remember me?? I mean I kinda sorta do. I’m bringing that fitness back. And here’s how I’m going to do it.

photo of my brand new peloton spin bike
My beautiful new friend- peloton

I recently welcomed a Peloton into the Palizzi household. Like ordered on a Sunday and had that shiny beautiful bike delivered that following Wednesday. I proceeded to ride three times before I left for a week-long yoga retreat and, omg, I think I’m hooked. I love that I can get a hard cardio work out when it fits into my schedule. It’s really no excuses since it’s right in the middle of my living room. Quite the conversation piece, haha.

My goal is ride that sexy bike 5 times for at LEAST 30 minutes. I also want to aim for my 10K step goal with my garmin. I want to eat vegetables, like a lot of vegetables. Concrete goal, at least one serving with every meal. Water, I need to drink it and not coke zero. Make good choices when I have to. Like I can’t say for sure I will 100 avoid fast food but there are better choices. Make the better choice. I want to also bring my lunch on work days. I don’t need to #TreatYoSelf every day I work, that’s just silly. Make my lunch, control the calories, you get the gist. I also will input my food choices, good or bad, into my fitness pal (ChristiaP)

Coming off that yoga retreat high, I want to take advantage of the different classes offered by Peloton and do yoga the other 2 days I’m not riding my bike. The cool thing about yoga is that it’s my practice, no one else’s. I’m excited to bring that mentality to the peloton. Yes I’m excited for the leader board and for seeing my output increase but I also know that I’m racing against my own damned self.

If you are a fellow peloton user, add me! #30somethingmum

I’m so excited to start this journey of bringing my fitness back. 30 lbs to go and I’m starting now.

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Music is better than…

One of my favorite musicians says music is better than everything. I would have to agree with him.

Music is unique in its ability to transplant you back to a single moment in time. I cannot hear KC & JoJo’s All My Life without specifically remembering my first slow dance with a boy, a much shorter boy, that reeked of acqua di gio cologne. (To be fair, they were are all much shorter than 5’8″ 6th grade Christia.)

Music can inspire. It can help you write that book, or that blog post, or that essay. It can pump you up to finish that workout, or go that extra mile or hell even that FIRST mile. (Seriously Jay-Z Run This Town was my JAM when I was learning how to run.) It can bring you in touch with emotion or help you through a difficult time in your life.

A good song is one that tells a story and can cause an emotional response. This past weekend, my friend Emily was in town from Atlanta. She’s my friend because of this amazing thing called music. Truly. I met her at a concert in Atlanta. A Matt Nathanson concert, of course. She was in town because one of her favorite bands was coming to Santa Rosa Beach and would I like to go with her? I mean, DUH. Live music on a Saturday night? Sign a sister up. The show was at the Seaside Rep Theater and despite driving into Seaside literally every day, I had no idea where this venue was. Turns out it’s a tiny tiny venue but acoustically checked out. The stage is nice and unobstructed. And then I was introduced to The Talbott Brothers.

Photo courtesy of Em Pear Photos

When I tell you that I was captivated from the very first second they stepped on stage, I’m not lying. They are incredibly talented musicians, truly gifted lyricists, and so endearing and funny. It’s been a while since I cried at a concert, thanks a lot Talbott Brothers for breaking that streak. I totally cried during their encore of a currently unreleased song called Family. (The album comes out 10/18/19 and y’all NEED it.) In the mean time, I’m waiting for that Lizzo cover that Emily promised me.

I am so incredibly grateful for Emily and the amazing person that she is. I’m so grateful for music for bringing us together, and for introducing me to The Talbott Brothers. They are on repeat in my car, on alexa, basically anywhere I go they’ll be singing. I’m also really hoping to attend the 30A Songwriters Festival so I can see them again, and again!

 

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Previvor’s Guilt

Previvors are, as defined by FORCE, “individuals who are survivors of a predisposition to cancer but who haven’t had the disease. This group includes people who carry a hereditary mutation, a family history of cancer, or some other predisposing factor. The term specifically applies to the portion of our community that has its own unique needs and concerns separate from the general population, but different from those already diagnosed with cancer.”

I am a previvor.

While that term hasn’t ever felt exactly right, by definition, I fit. You know how there’s a thing called survivor’s guilt? I have previvor’s guilt. I got a choice in the matter. I got to choose to have my mastectomy. My salpingectomy. These were choices I had. I didn’t face life or death in order to make these decisions.

I don’t feel brave, or strong, honestly, but I recognize that I made some drastic (to some) decisions. I feel like I made the best choice for my situation and family. My breasties that are battling stage IV metastatic breast cancer are strong and brave and so powerful. My fellow previvor’s are strong and brave. They’ve gone through so much. It’s weird. I don’t feel like I’ve suffered enough to be considered a previvor. All of this, of course, is my own issue. My own feelings of inadequacy.

Today is National Previvor Day. To my fellow previvors I applaud you and honor your strength and bravery. For making the choice.

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Where I’m at.

Today is supposed to be my last physical therapy appointment. I have really been challenged in PT, really struggled and felt myself getting stronger. When I’m done with that I don’t know what I’m going to do to continue strengthening. I’ve said before I used to LOVE running. I think I need to just try it again, like plug into my audio book and go for a few miles. It used to be such a great escape for me and my brain was free to be creative. I swear plot bunnies hide in my runs. I’ve set some goals for 10 years from now and they are kind of wild. They’re the kind of dreams inspired by greatness, AKA rachel hollis. One such goal is to have written and published a novel. I’ve written one, submitted it to a publishing house, and was asked to revise and resubmit. And then we moved and blah blah blah, excuse excuse excuse, I never did that. If for nothing else, I should go for a run again to feed that part of my brain that is only activated then.

Summer vacation is kicking my actual booty. Between visitors that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having, adventures with my kids, new responsibilities at work, selling off my LuLaRoe (join my group and buy it for hella cheap!) and planning JuJu’s man-cave bedroom, I’ve been stagnant. I need to put myself first and realize and accept that it’s ok.

I have a dermatology appointment next week and I’m a bit nervous. I have had this spot on my nose for a few months. I don’t know exactly when it came, but I know it came after my facial. It won’t go away. It hasn’t changed but it does bleed if I bug it. I’m honestly terrified of skin cancer. I know I keep throwing the BRCA label around but it increases my risk of Melanoma. Like hi that shit is scary. So if this spot could either go away and or decide it’s a zit, that would be great.

Leaving you with a photo of the gulf from the condo that my parents are renting.

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My Summer Intentions

On the first day of summer vacation, one of my best friends asked me what my summer intentions were. To be honest, I definitely hadn’t even considered any intentions. I just wanted to have fun, mark things off our bucket list, and continue to enjoy my kids.

It’s a week into summer now and I realize that I need to be mindful this summer. After a seriously hellacious trip to the grocery store with all the kids, where I spent way more than I intended and lost my temper far more frequently than I wanted to I found my summer intentions.

Now, to be fair. They are B.A.S.I.C. but they are things that I need to focus on. They are things that will allow my children to have good days as well. They’re basic things that will help me be a kind human. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be kind and generous. So, here are my intentions for the summer. Do YOU have intentions this summer? If so, sound off down below.

xoxo,
c

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Kindergarten Grad & Summer Bucket List

Today, my newborn had her kindergarten celebration! I won’t say graduation because there was no pomp and cirumstance. No mortarboard with tassel. No gown. They sang songs, had a cute little program based on the alphabet, and did a dance to a mariachi song. Altogether an enjoyable morning.

So while there was none of the hullabaloo of a kindergarten graduation, there was an insanely thoughtful scrapbook created by Emilia’s kindergarten teacher. Every big event at school, every party I wasn’t at due to surgery or infection, or recovery is documented. The progress she’s made with handwriting, and spelling, and reading. It’s all there. I’m so grateful for the INCREDIBLE teachers we’ve had at Bay. It’s going to be so weird starting at the new school next year. I’m so glad some of our favorites are going to be going to the new school but it’s hard to say goodbye to the quaint old school we currently attend.

My kids are chomping at the bit to get our 2019 Summer Bucket List. 2018 was so much fun. For a refresher, here is our 2018 bucket list. Some things we are considering for this summer include: pontoon boat with grammy & pop pop, Shipwreck Island (again), Palizzi Art Camp, try a new restaurant. Can you give any suggestions for our 2019 bucket list?? I am having a hard time believing that it’s almost here! Only 6 days of school left!

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Goal Setting

I’m reading/listening to Rachel Hollis’ Girl Stop Apologizing. (side note-audible is seriously incredible. I listen to books after I drop my kids off and I feel so much more productive. There are definitely days where music is the deal of the day but I like listening to books a lot.) She is a force. An incredibly inspiring human and yet, I digress.

It should come to no great surprise that I am not the best example at follow through. I mean, generally, I talk a big game but rarely execute my goals as flawlessly as I would like to admit. Rachel Hollis has a really cool goal setting tool called 10-10-1. Catchy, right? I still need to sit down and figure mine out but she also challenges her readers to do some small and simple things to start changing our mindset into one of a goal getter. She wants us to get up an hour earlier, drink half our body weight in ounces of water, move my body for 30 minutes a day and this one that I’m taking on this month. To eliminate one category of food for 30 days. I decided on gluten. I have a theory that it might be the cause of some of my bloating, maybe not the whole pointy belly scenario, but some of the pointy belly scenario. So I’m going to try it. I can do it! 30 days isn’t that long and thank god there are so many gluten free options out there. Plus, corn tortillas don’t have gluten anyway.

Do you have any gluten free recipes that I need to try this 30 days? Today is day 1 and so far I’m killing it.

Someday, I’ll get the rest of my goals figured out and shared with you. For now, this small and simple thing is pretty much all I can accomplish.

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Progress

Today I started listing some clothes on Poshmark. I have so many things that I’m not wearing, or that don’t fit, or just aren’t ME anymore. Also, who is ME March 11, 2019? That’s a hella good question! I can tell you physical descriptors-platinum bob, green eyes, size 9 shoe, size 29 pant. I could tell you how much I weigh but none of those things define me.

In listing these clothes I came across a photo from almost exactly 3 years ago and I truly and honestly barely recognized myself.

The craziest part is while I’m about 30 lbs lighter in this picture, I remember the same uncomfortableness that I have now. That there were parts that still needed to shrink to fit into this mold. I’m glad there are so many body positivity movements right now, that this topic is being talked about instead of ignored and swept under the rug. (Or carpet as Kyle from RHoBH would say.)

I’m learning to love and appreciate the new body I’ve been given…I gotta admit my new belly button is CUTE. I’m also trying to get into the strong mindset. To get back to the girl that worked out because she *liked* it not just because she wanted a calorie deficit. The one that could just run 6-8 miles and be cool. I don’t think I have the desire to run a half marathon ever again but a 10K would be cool.

Believe That i know that my body has been through some SHiT the past 365 days. My mental state as well. And I’m not mad at myself for gaining weight nor will I be punishing myself. I’m going to continue the #LowCarbLife That I’ve been doing for the past week, and slowly start exercising again. I guess I should put to use that treadmill and elliptical in the garage, eh??

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Image

Almost six months ago I had my mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction. Directly after surgery I felt invincible, strong. Like a badass warrior with a flat tummy. Our family celebrated being done with surgery with a cruise to the Bahamas. It was our kids’ main Christmas present. This meant the first time donning a swimsuit since before my surgeries.

Initially, I wasn’t worried a bit. I mean I had just had my surgeries and my tummy was so flat. I should feel rocking in my bikini. My boobs are pretty perfect, especially after having four kids, and being in my *gasp* late 30s. Shopping for them was fun! I found a killer deal at Walmart of all places on a super on trend bikini and felt pretty good in it. Until it was actually time to wear it.

The familiar self doubt and self loathing creeped in. Ugh the bottoms cut into my hip. My thighs are so wiggly. I internally celebrated every other woman in her swimsuit for enjoying her vacay, or seeming to give no Fs about anything but that pineapple drank.

It’s funny how it’s never enough. My brain is wired to think I’m not good enough. I worried that people were thinking that I had just had a tummy tuck and were judging me that way. Who cares if they were, right? I enjoyed the trip with my little (big) family immensely. Seeing the joy on their faces as we fed pigs on Treasure Island, and discovering Moana shells while snorkeling are precious memories that I’ve stored away.

How can I rewire my brain to love my body? To not look at the flaws as bright flashing neon lights saying I’m not enough? How can I teach emilia to give no Fs and enjoy herself?

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3000 Questions About Me

My sweet friend, Donna, sent me a care package before phase 2. Inside was a tiny plush Hermione doll and this awesome book.

Inside, as one would suspect, are 3000 Questions About Me. Don’t worry, I’m not answering all of them right here, right now. Nor will I be posting a question a day with a detailed answer.

I am, however,answering the first question.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Perfect happiness is simple and found in the smallest details. A cuddle with the pups. Emilia’s tiny hand slipping into mine as we cross a street. Owen’s fluffy curls bouncing on the trampoline while he laughs. Gabriel excitedly telling me about something I know nothing about and Julian’s reaction when I tickle him. (You do know he’s too cool for me, right?) Watching a movie with the love of my life. (PS we watched Bird Box on NYE and I’m thinking about cutting my hair like Malorie’s in the beginning?)

Life isn’t perfect. Nothing is. That doesn’t mean it isn’t something to be cherished and celebrated.

So, tell me friends, what is your idea of perfect happiness?