She’s A Little Extra, but So Am I

Yesterday, something miraculous happened in my house. Another project got finished. For about two weeks I’ve had this massive chandelier sitting on my dining room table just waiting for her time to shine. I found her, and fell in love with her on Facebook. We wrapped up the bulk of the laundry room a couple weeks before that, and have started planning Juju’s Man Cave. In the middle of that I found her. (Sorry for sounding like Joe, from You.) Ok, I know, I know. She’s a little extra, but hey so am I.

I could see past the faux wax drippings and candle flame shaped bulbs and whatever the F that wire is wrapped around. I could see her potential. Juju (holding her), Emilia and I headed off on an adventure to Panama City to get her. The neighborhood was SWANK and I felt really excited about procuring their outcasts. She’s about my age, maybe a little younger but definitely taken care of. (She probably started skincare at an early age? I don’t know.)

I knew she was destined for tall edison bulbs and I wanted plain black covers. Julian and I got 8 4″ white covers at Lowes and spray painted them. They turned out perfect. I unwinded those wires and they came off pretty easily. To say that I’m obsessed would be an understatement but I am sure pleased with my marketplace purchase. I feel like she gives it a little Quartermaine flair.

Now, though? The four boob lights in my hallway and pantry are SCREAMING at me. Barry and I have pretty differing tastes on lighting. He voted “gross” when I posted a poll on instagram about my new obsession. He’s revised his earlier comment though. Finding and agreeing on a boob light is honestly proving to be more challenging than finding and agreeing on a breast surgeon (it was such an easy decision to have my surgery in New Orleans)! I have about $1400 worth of lights in my amazon, lowes, and joss and main virtual carts. My style is so erratic and eclectic that some lights are super out there and others are so classic. I think I need to get a strict budget and find one that fits in all the boxes.

Do you have a favorite boob light replacement? I’m warring between schoolhouse (inspired) lights with glorious milk glass, round almost boob lights without nipples (also a little more flat), globe lights, metal geometric lights, and glass shaded lights, there’s also a cage light in my cart. I am a hot mess you guys. I also keep having a Cody Rigsby quote run through my mind, “It’s not that deep, boo.” It’s not but it is a commitment. Who wants to climb up that ladder again and replace those lights? Certainly not Barry.

Basically this post is an ode to my new chandy. I love her, and the Quartermaine AF vibes she gives off. She’s a little extra, but so am I. (clearly)